Elizabeth Gettelman

Elizabeth Gettelman

Managing Editor

Elizabeth has written for the Christian Science Monitor and the Washington Post, and is the author of a how-to basketball book for girls. She's a recovering policy analyst who knows to never underestimate a good spreadsheet.

Full Bio | Get my RSS | Follow me on Twitter

Prior to joining Mother Jones, Elizabeth worked as a newspaper reporter, a freelance writer, and a policy analyst in former San Francisco Mayor Willie Brown's administration, where she attended his soirees at the Top of the Mark. She's written for the Christian Science Monitor, the Washington Post, and other publications, and is the author of Sportsgirl: Competitive Basketball for Girls.

Advertise on MotherJones.com

Penn State's Joe Paterno Shouldn't Have Coached a Game This Season

| Wed Nov. 9, 2011 10:29 PM PST

Penn State did the right thing tonight when it fired its storied football coach Joe Paterno (and its president, Graham Spanier). But it's pretty little, and it's way late. Joe Paterno remained Coach Paterno for nearly a decade after learning that his former defensive coordinator had allegedly raped a 10-year-old, and for nearly a year after a grand jury investigation confirmed as much. In fact, he stayed coach just long enough to become the winningest coach in Division I college football history, a record he achieved two weeks ago, 11 months after said grand jury investigation (see page 8 referencing December 2010 interviews). Had his complicit role come to light last December would Paterno have had a shot at his record-breaking victory? If present outrage would have held, and it should have, then no, he wouldn't have coached at all this season.

The timing is probably not a coincidence, and it's illustrative. This whole hellstorm was swept under the rug for so long because of the money machine that is college football, a successful program with a superstar coach and a sterling reputation is money in the bank, and when you're Penn State that's $50 million a year kind of money.

Now what? Well, students should really stop rioting. (And definitely this.) Starting tomorrow, Penn State will have to figure out who it is after it's Joe Paterno. And Joe Paterno and Penn State will have to come to grips with their enabling of an alleged child rapist. And hopefully the Penn State community can come to rally behind Sandusky's victims and would-be victims just as fervently as they do their Nittany Lions any given Saturday. Perhaps some of the hundreds of millions gained over the years by the football juggernaut will go to the victims, and to efforts to stop child sexual abuse. And on the agenda must be a long, hard, cold look at a college-sports industry that begets such devastation.

One note of justice, however token. On Saturday, Coach Paterno would have set yet another record, for most games coached in a career. He would've passed Amos Alonzo Stagg but instead the two will remain tied at 548 games.

Game over. And no winners here, not now, not a one.

The Onion News Network: Cable News Gone Rogue

| Fri Jan. 21, 2011 2:39 PM PST

Does the world need another inane, dubiously sourced, and paranoid cable news channel? Yes, please! In what began as occasional fake news riffs online, the Onion News Network promises “9 billion viewers across 811 countries, and cameras watching over 80% of the world’s population.” The show premieres tonight on IFC as a half-hour weekly show, promising to be just as salacious as its cable companions. The show’s main vehicle is the “FactZone,” a fake real-news show that’s a mashup of Nancy Grace, Stephen Colbert, and Fox-News fearmongering all rolled up into a laser-packed collection of slick graphics and manufactured mayhem. In one episode pundits debate the merits of Kim Jong Il’s proposition to exchange nukes for a starring role in the next Batman (“risky…but we shouldn’t ignore the possibility that Kim Jong Il could be fantastic as Batman”), and a political analyst talks about presidential hopeful Sarah Palin’s newly released Choose Your Own Adventure book where “she could change the drinking age to 14, annex Mexico, or…”


When did cable news shows become a parody of themselves? The Onion's foray into makeup under the hot lights suggests that Fox, CNN, and friends jumped that shark long ago; The Onion's just taking the joke to a new satirical high. The show is sensational, insane to the point of hilarious, and totally full of malarkey, in other words, classic Onion. From its focus on dumb news (missing tire, found!), to entertainment plugs (Suri Cruise’s time-traveling kidnappers), to fear-based reporting (most everything else), ONN can break the news with the best of them. And viewers know what they're in for, nothing but untruths, no foolin'. How refreshing!

Advertise on MotherJones.com

From Cayenne to Viagra: The IRS' Dos and Don'ts of Health Care Spending

| Fri Dec. 17, 2010 2:17 PM PST

It's that most wonderful time of the year when those of us lucky enough to have jobs, jobs with benefits no less, get to figure out how much to set aside for medical expenses to come. We can sign up Flexible Spending Arrangements, or FSAs, set up to help employees pay for some of what their health plans won't cover. (Also, ever since GWB signed the Medicare bill into law in 2003, consumers who go it alone have the option of setting aside some of their pre-tax dollars into Health Savings Accounts, bypassing coverage altogether.) Whatever is set aside in a FSA is use-it-or-lose-it so it helps to know what you can submit for reimbursement. What's allowed will change some next year because of the health care bill. Namely, drugs you buy over-the-counter, from Advil to NyQuil, will no longer qualify. But lots of other things still will. The IRS' list suggests over and over that whatever you want to be reimbursed for needs to be medically necessary to treat an illness, a medical condition, a sick child, or the like. But not every entry on this 14-page list follows that logic, and there are some bizarre inclusions. Some that stand out:

Cayenne Pepper: Yes, so long as you include "a note from a medical practitioner outlining the specific medical condition that exists and how this pepper is to be used."

Ear Piercing: No, "not even if performed by a physician."

Lip Balm: No

Petroleum Jelly: Yes

Controlled Substances (illegal substances and drugs): "Illegal substances purchased outside of the United States [are] not reimbursable." Wow, if they hadn't have included this bit I totally would have tried to expense my trafficked cocaine from Juarez. No reference to in-country purchases.

Invisalign: Yes, covered. Invisalign is basically very high-end braces. Invisible retainers that refashion teeth into a flashy set of straight whites, covered.

ProActiv: Acne treatments are serious business, and cost serious dough. This one, that comes with infomercials and endorsements from Katy Perry and the like, get specific mention. See also, Retin-A

Rogaine/Propecia: Yes; Hair Growth Medications/Transplants/Procedures: No

Memory Foam Mattress Topper: Yes, with doc's permission, must include "a newspaper advertisement" indicating cost difference.

Mastectomy and Related Specialty Bras: Nope, not unless "a doctor's or medical practitioner's note is received stating that this will help in treating the mental health of the patient."

Dancing Lessons: Yes, if to treat a specific medical condition. (We likely have the Dancing with the Stars lobby to thank for this one.)

Feminine Hygiene Products: No, "considered general use items." As opposed to petroleum jelly, and bandages, and laxatives (also both Yeses).

Diapers: For healthy babies (and adults, see Adult Incontinence), No. Super unfortunate since gov't programs like WIC and food stamps don't cover diapers. This alongside the statistic, c/o a Huggies study, that 1 in 3 families can't afford enough diapers for their kids.

Viagra: Of course! "Viagra prescribed by a doctor to treat a medical condition is allowable."

Christian Science Practicitioners: Yes, though "the treatment must be legal."

Alberto Contador: Food Poisoning or Performance Enhancement?

| Fri Oct. 1, 2010 6:53 AM PDT

We don't know for sure whether cyclist Alberto Contador ingested a performance enhancing drug on a rest day during this year's Tour de France, a tour he won for the third time and the second year in a row. Or, better put, we don't know how, exactly, he ingested said substance found in his system that day. I'm not saying he's guilty of doping, but the very fact that traces of substances that aid in performance are time and again found in athletes' bodies always leaves us at the same place, listening to the who-me/never excuses of how whatever was found couldn't possibly have gotten there on purpose. Look over there, puppies!

The affable, striking Contador won hearts and minds this year with his gracious victory, ceding the only stage he could have won to his closest competitor, backslapping his way through the weeks with complements aimed at his rivals, all the while displaying his elegant and effortless way on the bike, there was little not to like about the guy. Besides, with Lance Armstrong not a contender liking Contador wasn't even unpatriotic. Contador was the year's most beloved Spainard next to Iker Casillas (and you just can't beat this, no matter how far, fast, or high you ride).

So now we hear that Contador might have taken a banned substance clenbuterol which helps increase lung capacity, increases metabolism, etc. etc. But, no, he says, it was the cut of meat he had the night before the test, must have been. "It is a clear case of food contamination," he said yesterday, since clenbuterol is sometimes used (illegally) as a food additive for livestock to promote, of course, muscle growth. 

Contador is not the first to blame the meat we eat for a failed drug test. In 1999, Czech tennis player Petr Korda said veal was to blame for his positive test for anabolic steroids. Barry Bonds cried foul on flaxseed oil, cyclist Floyd Landis blamed too much Jack Daniels, and Andre Agassi insisted his assistant spiked his drink with meth. There was the Olympic snowboarder who inhaled pot at a party, and the soccer player who ended up with his girlfriend's STD medicine where it shouldn't be. And yet these are all athletes for whom the body is the temple. Supreme training regimens mean every calorie is accounted for, every action aimed at achieving total perfection and peak performance. And yet we are supposed to buy that they allowed trainers to rub them with a mystery gel without their knowledge, or that they fervently kissed a girl who had too much cocaine on her tongue. There's so much danger out there athletes can barely breath without getting what turns out to be an unfair advantage.

Sure, Contador may be innocent (and anabolic steroids clenbuterol is not) but his accused forefathers leave a shoddy track record with which he must contend. In the steroid-excuse game a cry of food poisoning surprises no one, and neither would the ultimate revelation that another incredible athlete had a little help.

Fri Jan. 21, 2011 2:39 PM PST
Fri Jul. 9, 2010 11:31 AM PDT
Wed Jun. 16, 2010 10:36 AM PDT
Thu Jun. 10, 2010 4:00 AM PDT
Fri May. 21, 2010 3:00 AM PDT
Wed May. 12, 2010 3:00 AM PDT
Tue Apr. 6, 2010 9:51 AM PDT
Fri Mar. 19, 2010 3:39 PM PDT
Wed Mar. 17, 2010 3:26 AM PDT
Thu Feb. 18, 2010 4:44 PM PST
Thu Feb. 11, 2010 4:10 AM PST
Wed Feb. 3, 2010 4:34 PM PST
Fri Jan. 22, 2010 12:19 PM PST
Wed Jan. 13, 2010 12:50 PM PST
Wed Nov. 11, 2009 4:00 AM PST
Thu Nov. 5, 2009 2:14 PM PST
Thu Oct. 8, 2009 12:19 PM PDT
Fri Oct. 2, 2009 9:28 AM PDT
Thu Oct. 1, 2009 8:31 AM PDT
Wed Sep. 30, 2009 10:17 PM PDT
Fri Sep. 4, 2009 7:12 AM PDT
Fri Aug. 21, 2009 8:50 AM PDT
Thu Aug. 20, 2009 11:11 AM PDT
Thu Aug. 20, 2009 9:51 AM PDT
Tue Aug. 18, 2009 2:56 PM PDT
Mon Aug. 17, 2009 2:24 PM PDT
Sun Aug. 16, 2009 7:38 PM PDT
Thu Aug. 13, 2009 9:42 AM PDT
Fri Jul. 17, 2009 4:41 PM PDT
Tue Jul. 7, 2009 8:38 PM PDT
Thu Jun. 25, 2009 2:30 PM PDT
Wed Jun. 24, 2009 6:50 PM PDT
Sun Jun. 21, 2009 5:21 PM PDT
Thu Jun. 18, 2009 2:54 PM PDT
Thu Jun. 18, 2009 1:06 PM PDT
Thu Jun. 11, 2009 2:22 PM PDT
Tue Jun. 9, 2009 11:27 AM PDT
Wed Jun. 3, 2009 9:51 AM PDT
Sun May. 17, 2009 7:31 PM PDT
Tue Apr. 28, 2009 8:45 PM PDT
Fri Apr. 17, 2009 8:18 AM PDT
Mon Apr. 6, 2009 8:01 AM PDT