What Kind of Patient Are You?
| Wed Nov. 4, 2009 11:40 PM PST
A British physician provides a taxonomy of annoying patients:
GPs used to talk about "heartsink" patients (who make your heart plummet the moment you spot them on your morning list) and a psychiatrist called Groves even split them into four groups (manipulative help-rejecters, self-destructive deniers, entitled demanders, dependent clingers). But there are heartsink doctors too, and when a consultation goes tits up, there are issues on both sides.
I'm pretty sure I'm not #1, and I know I'm not #3 or #4. So either I'm a self-destructive denier or else I'm not an annoying patient at all. Possibly a bit of both.
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Comments
You are almost certainly a
Submitted by House Whisperer on Thu Nov. 5, 2009 1:35 AM PST.
You are almost certainly a non-annoying patient. I've read your health-care posts for a few years and can attest. Non-annoying patients definitely exist, and they are a joy to interview and treat.
If you want more than a 10
Submitted by B on Thu Nov. 5, 2009 8:13 AM PST.
If you want more than a 10 minute consultation and the doctor isn't an intern, and you're not cute, you might just be grouped with the "entitled demanders" in the US. A 15 minute consultation might clear that up, but that's not in the cards.
Number 2?
Submitted by Quiddity who can't login as Quiddity (not verified) on Thu Nov. 5, 2009 8:18 AM PST.
I've passed two kidney stones on my own (visiting the hospital emergency room seemed like a hassle). I go to doctors as a last resort, preferring to see if time - and maybe some aspirin - will get the body to heal.
On the other hand, I regularly get flu shots. I donate blood every two months - so it's not like I'm scared of needles or white coats, or am hostile to the industry.
I guess I don't like the whole visiting-the-doctor package (the hurry up and wait; unappealing examination room environment; also, I never have a "conversation" - it's more like being lectured). But once home, I dutifully make the changes prescribed and take all the medicine.
What are "self-destructive deniers"? People who are disinclined to visit a doctor, like me? Or people who ignore physician-recommended treatment?
A self-destructive denier is a person who tells herself
Submitted by cmac (not verified) on Thu Nov. 5, 2009 10:14 AM PST.
it's just a mosquito bite as a pus-filled mountain rises below her shoulder blade, she gulps ibuprofen like candy to take the edge off the deep ache which is immobilizing her shoulder, and her arm begins to go numb from the armpit outward.
I think that's what I might be. When I'm non-annoying.
No, you are also
Submitted by House Whisperer on Thu Nov. 5, 2009 11:03 AM PST.
No, you are also non-annoying. It's hard for reasonable people such as yourselves to grasp how truly dysfunctional many users of medical resources are. However, now that a trial of ibuprofen has failed, I hope you will contact your doctor.
Dr. Hammond gave you the sanitized version
Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Thu Nov. 5, 2009 5:58 PM PST.
Dr. Hammond didn't tell you how we docs classify patients when you're not around. The taxonomy that interns learn from their chief residents at 3 AM while waiting for cardiac enzymes to come back and appendixes to burst. It's not pretty, it's NSFW, and it's hilarious when you've been on call for 36 hours without any sleep. But I'm not going to let you in on it. If I did, goons from the AMA would come to my house and break my kneecaps. (It's a strong guild).
Depends
Submitted by Paul Camp (not verified) on Thu Nov. 5, 2009 6:49 PM PST.
What direction are your tits pointing?
Depends
Submitted by Paul Camp (not verified) on Thu Nov. 5, 2009 6:51 PM PST.
What direction are your tits pointing?
Theoretically all patients
Submitted by advocate for yourself (not verified) on Fri Nov. 6, 2009 7:26 AM PST.
Theoretically all patients should be demanders - it is your body and your money and the doctor works for you. I would go easy on the entitlement but you should expect to be treated professionally. I temporarily lost my hearing this year and it took me four months and four doctors before I received the proper diagnosis and treatment.(and that was with a pretty good insurance plan) If I would have been more demanding I probably could have cut both those numbers in half.
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