A Feminist Hears a Who
| Tue Apr. 8, 2008 9:52 PM PDT
I was aghast to hear my four year old daughter playing with her dolls the other day. The dolls are not the problem; the story line was. Tuning in and out while she nattered on, I suddenly realized the dialogue went something like this:
First Princess: "Oh no! The evil witch is coming. We need Prince Sean!" (Sean is the boy she's all but stalking at preschool).
Second Princess: "Oh! She'll cut our guts out. Where are the boys? We need boys."
FP: "Girls aren't strongly brave. We shall die! Who will save us? Oh! It's the prince. He'll save us."
All in a high-pitched and annoying ditzy soprano. It got so much worse than this, I had to sit her down for a chat. Where on earth was she getting this stuff?
I pummel her and her 7-year-old brother with feminist analysis of every medium they encounter, from billboards to story books to cereal boxes. I'm a single mom with a freelance career; they watch me struggle and kick ass everyday, all without help from a 'prince.' Yet, my daughter argues furiously with me that only boys are strong and brave and tough. She was actually offended when I called her a tough cookie after she'd done something cool. "I'm not tough, Mom! I'm a girl." Yeah, and if I'm very lucky, someday I'll get to wipe the sweat from your brow as you push out a fetus as big as you were. Then we'll talk about tough.
I know she's just trying to make sense of all the conflicting messages the world is lobbing at her, but overhearing her made me see just how naive I'd been to think my unrelenting feminist harangues would shield her from the world's low expectations of what she can do. Make her doubt herself, no matter what her actual accomplishments. Her four-year-old brain is telling her that she has to choose between feminity and strength. I know. She'll work it out over time. But, boy, was I freaked.
I fight bigotry for a living; surely my kids would be immune to it, right? The light came on when I took them to the movies this weekend.
Continues Below
Continued From Above
God help me: it was "Horton Hears a Who," reimagined as misogyny. NPR's Peter Sagal said it best:
In a new subplot added by the filmmakers, the mayor of Whoville has 96 daughters. He has one son. Guess who gets all his attention? Guess who saves the day? Go ahead, think about it, I'll wait....
Here is a father with 96 daughters—96 amazing, beautiful, unpredictable, mysterious, distinct, glorious human beings—but gosh, what in the world is he going to care about? I know, let's give him a moody silent uninteresting offspring, but this one's got a Y chromosome...that'll be boffo box office!
And there's this—not only does the movie end with father and son embracing, while the 96 daughters are, I guess, playing in a well, somewhere, but the son earns his father's love by saving the world. Boys get to save the world, and girls get to stand there and say, I knew you could do it. How did they know he could do it? Maybe because they watched every other movie ever made?
So where is my daughter learning to accept that she's weak, helpless, and second best? Everywhere.
Comments
Submitted by The Onion (not verified) on Wed Apr. 9, 2008 11:28 AM PDT.
Stop Making Movies About My Books
BY DR. SEUSS
APRIL 2, 2008 | ISSUE 44?14
On the fourteenth of March, in towns nationwide,
In every cinema, multiplex, on every barnside,
Gleamed another adapting of one of my books,
CGI-ed and digitized by another sly crook.
Horton, my favorite?look how he's been treated!
Stuffed with tinsels and tassels and promptly excreted!
The puns! And the filler! The script fees you must save!
While I tumble and grum-humble around in my grave.
Read the rest at The Onion!
http://www.theonion.com/content/opinion/stop_making_movies_about_my
Yukonyon ? To even try to equate Mormons with the feminist movement is like saying that Bush is bringing freedom to the Middle East.
And like my foremothers would have gone to Wellesley? Funny shit!!! Keep trolling. You seem to have the time to spare.
And, I'll try to "get a grip" when you get a new catch phrase.
"Yukonyon ? To even try to equate Mormons with the feminist movement is like saying that Bush is bringing freedom to the Middle East.
And like my foremothers would have gone to Wellesley? Funny shit!!! Keep trolling. You seem to have the time to spare.
And, I'll try to "get a grip" when you get a new catch phrase."
Is that the only comeback you have? Gees, I feel like I am in high school again.
Keep trolling? Why don't YOU think of some new catchphrases?
Mormons were women's suffragists before the term was even thought of. They allowed women to work jobs, and vote at the church's inception. They were the first organization to have a women's organization that stood alongside the mens. They all voted, women alike, to stop that, only because they were required to, when congress said that it was required for them to become a state. And Mormons were the first church to allow women to hold the priesthood alongside the men, back when they first instituted the chruch in the early 1800's. That was certainly something no other church was even talking about in those days, let alone doing.
I find you are extremely intolerant. Not to mention that your mind is so closed that you are incapable of formulating a new thought. But regardless of your personal problems, your religious bigotry and projection falls on deaf ears. Keep trying;)
Submitted by The Onion (not verified) on Wed Apr. 9, 2008 11:28 AM PDT.
Stop Making Movies About My Books
BY DR. SEUSS
APRIL 2, 2008 | ISSUE 44?14
On the fourteenth of March, in towns nationwide,
In every cinema, multiplex, on every barnside,
Gleamed another adapting of one of my books,
CGI-ed and digitized by another sly crook.
Horton, my favorite?look how he's been treated!
Stuffed with tinsels and tassels and promptly excreted!
The puns! And the filler! The script fees you must save!
While I tumble and grum-humble around in my grave.
Read the rest at The Onion!
http://www.theonion.com/content/opinion/stop_making_movies_about_my
Yukonyon ? To even try to equate Mormons with the feminist movement is like saying that Bush is bringing freedom to the Middle East.
And like my foremothers would have gone to Wellesley? Funny shit!!! Keep trolling. You seem to have the time to spare.
And, I'll try to "get a grip" when you get a new catch phrase.
"Yukonyon ? To even try to equate Mormons with the feminist movement is like saying that Bush is bringing freedom to the Middle East.
And like my foremothers would have gone to Wellesley? Funny shit!!! Keep trolling. You seem to have the time to spare.
And, I'll try to "get a grip" when you get a new catch phrase."
Is that the only comeback you have? Gees, I feel like I am in high school again.
Keep trolling? Why don't YOU think of some new catchphrases?
Mormons were women's suffragists before the term was even thought of. They allowed women to work jobs, and vote at the church's inception. They were the first organization to have a women's organization that stood alongside the mens. They all voted, women alike, to stop that, only because they were required to, when congress said that it was required for them to become a state. And Mormons were the first church to allow women to hold the priesthood alongside the men, back when they first instituted the chruch in the early 1800's. That was certainly something no other church was even talking about in those days, let alone doing.
I find you are extremely intolerant. Not to mention that your mind is so closed that you are incapable of formulating a new thought. But regardless of your personal problems, your religious bigotry and projection falls on deaf ears. Keep trying;)
Hey Debra, don't forget the racist and homophobic references as well. I took my four year old son to the movie the other weekend and was horrified by the crap that was instilled into a good Dr Seuss story. The secretary (not from the book) was a bluish hue like the monkey characters, she was the only chracter to speak with a distinct African-American accent, and she was portrayed as lazy and libidinous surfing online dating websites at work (although she was competent at her job). And the first character to be trampled during the stampede, yup her. Then during an extended scene where mayor-dad shows his son all the 'great' grandfathers, and one grandmother, who were mayor of Whoville we glimpse a great grandfather who wore women's clothes, "Not so great" the mayor tells his son. This wasn't in the story! Then the eagle Vlad Vladikoff, who was in the book, has morphed into a vulture with a thick Slavic accent, Romanian perhaps? And he's portayed as a mercenary. Nice touch. Also don't forget the pro-lifers who cheer the movie because of the motto "A person's a person no matter how small." Truly not what Dr Seuss was about, nor the moral which was more evident in the story. Bottom line don't go to this movie, don't take your kids to it or pay for your kids to see it. Dr Seuss' creative genius has been hijacked to subversively preach intolerance and promote negative stereotypes. Also it's another vehicle for increasingly boring self critical psycho-dribble and father issues from Jim Carey. But that's my point of view.
Let's see - 6,000ish years of traditional human rolls and you are going to wipe all that out with one discussion? And the more you bash her over the head with feminism, the more likely she will run off to become a Mormon.
Your daughter will only know her strength when she is confronted with and overcomes adversity.
You would think that this was a neo-con rant with all the media blame being laid.
"So where is my daughter learning to accept that she's weak, helpless, and second best? Everywhere."
No, she got it from the Horton movie. Or at least, that's the only example you list.
I understand the point you are making, but I'm sure there is some psychology literature out there that could back up what you are saying far better than an anecdote about your kids and some movie you took them to.
Aaron-
Clearly you're one who thinks a woman needs a man to live with. Debra did not blame men, she blamed society as a whole.
True, her daughter is only four years old and has dreams of a prince saving her and living happily ever after. But tabloid women (Hilton, Lohan) keep the message alive that it's necessary to appear dumb and helpless for people to like you.
So, yes, it is necessary to tell young girls stories of girls who save the day in addition to classic fairy tales.
I concur, great post Debra.
Aaron: Do you realize you just provided an additional illustration of Debra's point? If you have some legit criticism, go for it, but reaching for the "you hate men, no wonder you're single" attack is a misogynist classic that only highlights gender problems in our society.
Submitted by Leticia (not verified) on Wed Apr. 9, 2008 10:30 AM PDT.
It is important for young girls to learn or know, that, one of the role of boys/prince in life amongst other, is to save/protect or take care of his girl/princes and not otherwise.
This is a good psychological example for all children who need a Father.
Debra, your daughter's natural female's instinct is working. She will understand the reality when she grows up.
Thank you for this post.
Submitted by Scott Baker (not verified) on Wed Apr. 9, 2008 11:18 AM PDT.
Dr. Suess must be rolling over in his grave. I don't know if the story is old enough to be in public domain yet, but if not, and his estate gave permission for this kind of c***, I guess they only care about the money. Unfortunately, until we have a culture that is not based on consumerism, woman will continue to be treated as commodities, to be pampered and saved - hopefully while spending money at the mall. For a sample of another tack, see my own books, Neitherworld, books one and two, available on Amazon etc. Believe me, it was tricky to write about a strong woman (archaeologist), a troubled yet resourceful ten year old girl, and a number of other strong female characters. It was particularly tricky while the protagonist had a love interest. I tried to make them both capable characters, but some people see the male lead as weak, so I'm not sure I succeeded. As a writer, I have no use for weak characters, male or female. No wonder Whoville's mayor's 96 daughters served mainly as background in Whoville - strong characters move a story, weak ones are boring, just like real life. You might want to give your daughter Promethea by Alan Moore et al. The graphic novel series has strong female characters throughout, though its adult themes might be a bit much.
Debra,
I'm so disappointed that that's what they've done with one of Dr. Seuss's great social commentaries. For years I have been instilling the power of Yopp into my kids, and I, like you, hold the dignity of women as a value most dear.
When the Horton movie came out and did so well at the box office, I was ecstatic (not having seen it). Could so many now be benefiting from the themes of faith, loyalty, and courage that the original story carries throughout? Evidently not.
I recently purchased the old TV cartoon of Horton after reading the original to my (get this) very pleased 16 year old daughter. Now she knows what Yopp means, and she sees her mom letting out Yopps left and right every day through word and deed. This is my legacy to my children.
I have not seen the box office smash. I probably won't now. I was hoping someone hadn't ruined the message and intent of Theodore Geisel's brilliant story.
Alas. Hollywood usually gets the last laugh. Message perverted. Kids soak it in. Women continue to be diminished. So sad.
Submitted by The Onion (not verified) on Wed Apr. 9, 2008 11:28 AM PDT.
Stop Making Movies About My Books
BY DR. SEUSS
APRIL 2, 2008 | ISSUE 4414
On the fourteenth of March, in towns nationwide,
In every cinema, multiplex, on every barnside,
Gleamed another adapting of one of my books,
CGI-ed and digitized by another sly crook.
Horton, my favoritelook how he's been treated!
Stuffed with tinsels and tassels and promptly excreted!
The puns! And the filler! The script fees you must save!
While I tumble and grum-humble around in my grave.
Read the rest at The Onion!
http://www.theonion.com/content/opinion/stop_making_movies_about_my
The cultural roles that girls and boys are indoctrinated into create limitations as they grow and learn. These roles should be reviewed with a realistic eye as both boys and girls pay the price when they are led to a stereotype instead of being led to self discovery.
Thanks for the post.
Submitted by John Bowers (not verified) on Wed Apr. 9, 2008 11:47 AM PDT.
While I don't disagree with the basic thrust of your blog (I was kind of offended by the 96 daughter thing too), let me offer a slightly different perspective.
Medical science is gradually revealing that boys are much more fragile that girls. One of the ways in which this greater fragility manifests itself is in the substantially higher (by a ratio of 4 to 1) incidence of childhood neurodevelopmental disabilities in boys as compared to girls.
One of the most common neurodevelopmental disabilities is autism. (Did you know that Jim Carrey has a child with autism in his immediate family?) The defining characteristic of autism is impaired language development. In the Horton movie the Mayor's son does not speak. He has a neurodevelopmental disability, maybe autism.
In the movie the Mayor's son overcomes his disability and performs a valuable public service. For viewers like myself who have had direct personal experience with one or more disabled children, this plot element was inspiring.
Debra:
However, on the other hand, almost every commercial or television show that portrays someone as an ignorant dunce portrays that person as an adult male. I can't remember the last time I saw a commercial where the person who is clueless and doesn't know how to use the product is a female. So, my son is being taught that only girls can grow up to be competent, intelligent people. In reality, the problem is with the media in totality and how they portray everyone.
There are two ways of looking at the same thing. All of the "96 amazing, beautiful, unpredictable, mysterious, distinct, glorious human beings" are female while the one offspring who needs "fixing" is male. As a guy, I'm certainly not impressed.
Submitted by Tracee Sioux (not verified) on Wed Apr. 9, 2008 1:09 PM PDT.
I completely understand your frustration.
When our daughters start acting like yours did it's our job, as parents, to find out why and do something about it.
I ditched the Disney Princesses for the same reason. Not surprising I got a lot of flack when I wrote about it too from Men who don't get it.
It's not one movie it's many, many movies. Media does play a part in shaping our girls and we have a right to expect more out of the industry than girls are getting.
Here's a link to the Geena Davis Institute on Gender in the Media - they are working toward the same end: http://www.thegeenadavisinstitute.org/
Great comments! This on the
movie that I have not seen.
Oprah was pushing the movie
on her televison show with
Jim Carrey and Carol Burnett.
Even with Dr. Suess there isn't anything that Hollywood
wouldn't butcher if they had
half a chance.
Submitted by Bryson (not verified) on Wed Apr. 9, 2008 1:11 PM PDT.
That's terrible about the movie...I'm only twenty, but God save me when (and if) I have kids someday. It's like going back and watching School House Rock: what the hell? How did I grow up to be be considerate and compassionate towards other when I was raised watching movies that encouraged a self-destructive nationalism?
Anyway, kids are kids; I played with toy guns all the time when I was little, and yet, I grew up a pacifist. My entire family loves fishing, and that encouraged me to love the world in which I live, not to treat it as something to be conquered.
Let's face it: the messages that stick, the messages that children take to heart, those messages are the ones that are the lessons that are compassionate, loving, and inclusive. Trust in the message, not the messenger, eh?
Easier said than done, but in retrospect, I am very grateful for the lengths that my parents went to in counteracting the pervasive noxious messages that drench our children. We had no TV in our home, ever. No Barbies, only dolls that looked like real humans. All the Tonka trucks that I wanted. No Disney movies, ever. They are full of the most egregious stereotyping and "girls are useless" messages imaginable. I think the most helpful was lots and lots of biographies written for kids about amazing women like Rachel Carson, or Jane Goodall or Helen Keller, or Maria Montessori, and lots of stories featuring girl heroines - like Pippi Longstockings, or the Miss Bianca books. Plus, lots of exposure to science and other "traditionally male" arenas. The end result was that I grew up never doubting that I was as capable as any man, just that the onus was on me to prove it.
"Believe me, it was tricky to write about a strong woman (archaeologist), a troubled yet resourceful ten year old girl, and a number of other strong female characters. It was particularly tricky while the protagonist had a love interest. I tried to make them both capable characters, but some people see the male lead as weak, so I'm not sure I succeeded."
Unfortunately, people probably view your male character as "weak" because he is playing a secondary part to the more prominent female characters.
Scott- I'll be curious to read your books- having been both a troublesome 10 year old, AND a woman archaeologist, I very much enjoyed the company of both my rowdy 10 year old friends, and my women colleagues when I was an archaeologist. Non of us had much time for lackluster men - I wonder why it was a challenge to write about? What I recall of those times is a long chain of funny and interesting anecdotes and adventures!
I agree with Debra's post in totality, but want to add a thought about how these media ideas hurt men, too. What kind of standard are we setting for a father to love his son - he has to save the whole world? I don't have kids, but every parent I know who I think 'gets it' [including my own] want most of all to know their children are well-adjusted and happy people. The love comes naturally. But in this scenerio the boy has to go on an Odyssey-like test of merit in order to earn love. I think that stinks on hot ice.
I agree with erik h. - everyone suffers from this kind of message.
Debra, I think you need to give your kids a bit more credit. You sound like you're so intent on molding them into the people you want them to be that you lose sight of the fact that kids learn from how their parents behave, not from the proselytizing they spew. You have no tolerance for bigotry - as you say, you fight bigotry for a living. I'm sure that in time your children will learn to be equally intolerant - not from what you try to teach them, but from what they see in your own actions and values. You consider it a badge of honor to fight bigotry whereever you see it. That's fine. But bigotry is part of the human condition, and simply railing against it does little to curtail its effects. Did it ever occur to you that your daughter's fantasy play belongs to her - that she is entitled to have her own thoughts, beliefs, values?
As for those who commented that they have no use for weak, lackluster men, that also strikes me as rather intolerant. While dictating to the world how girls and women are supposed to view themselves and behave, you simultaneously demand that boys and men fit your ideas of how they should be.
Aaron, why must you continue with stupid personal attacks? You have nothing else? No other 'real' opinion on the subject? Just because Allan disagrees with you, now he's an anti-semite? I personally know many Aarons who are not Jewish anyway, so what's your point? Are you going to assume I am Catholic because I have an Irish name?
Maybe you need to look in the mirror and figure out why you yourself are obviously such a hater? You can't get a woman (or man) to live with you either?? What is your problem? If you have nothing relevant to say, just run along and insult someone else on another site.
It takes a child to put things right.
The only kick-arse I see females doing is sarcasm, vilification and working in HR.
The kid is right, the women need men; just the same way as the men need women. But the white, over-educated, self-righteous, arrogant consumer oriented female; just doesn't get it.
They don't hate men; they hate themselves.
Submitted by Tim Hallman (not verified) on Wed Apr. 9, 2008 7:16 PM PDT.
Is it okay for a movie to have a son save the day? There are more and more movies and shows that have women/girls as saving the day...does each show have to make it even between which gender gets to rescue?
Considering the obvious inspiration that the real Mother Jones has for this magazine and its contributors, the reaction to the 96 daughters and one son is kind of expected. But is it okay for some girls to want to be a princess? Is it okay for some boys to want to be a prince to rescue a princess? Everybody can't always be the rescuer, everybody at some point needs rescued by somebody.
Can a girl be feminine and strong? A princess who needs rescued and a princess who is tough in child-birth? Can a princess fight bigotry?
In light of the increasing violence amongst schoolage boys and girls, maybe there should be less angst over which gender is highlighted as the rescuer, and start working with boys and girls to both be rescuers.
That said, there was no real need to have 96 daughters who get insufficient time with their father...a real sad state of affairs.
Submitted by Jhoffa_ (not verified) on Wed Apr. 9, 2008 7:29 PM PDT.
""I'm a single mom with a freelance career; they watch me struggle and kick ass everyday""
(Yawn)
Yeah, yeah..
Just keep telling yourself that.
Interesting point of view... but I guess it had to be one sex or the other... Why is it so bad to have a movie where a little outcast boy is the hero? How many outcast boys shoot up schools or act out? Girls need positive "role models" but so do boys. I think horton hears a who will be less influencial fact than the fact that most of americas "heroes" are positions held by men. Soldiers, police officers, firemen... those people sent to the rescue... is that fact the way it should be? probably not but it is still the fact. I think you are worried about something silly.
as a young girl, i despaired of ever finding role models to suit me - in literature or popular culture - so, i turned to sci-fi/fantasy - you won't find more well-rounded female characters anywhere else - i was nine when i started reading this genre - i am now 35, and i write sci-fi/fantasy for girls/young women - i want them to have the same empowering messages i got from reading such books - i believe sci-fi/fantasy remains one of the more equalizing genres of the day
When I was a little girl my favorite book was "Horton Hatches a Who"--which is even worse from a feminist prospective.
In that book Horton meets a bird who has just hathed an egg. The bird asks Horton if he wouldn't mind guarding her egg so that she can take a little break. She then flies off and leaves Horton alone with the egg.
Stays there, sitting on the egg, through rain, wind, and al kinds of bad weather.
But as a child, the book spoke to me. Till this day, I try to live by Horton's mantra:" I meant what I said, and I said what I meant. An elephant's faithful, 100%".
Folks... you're being foolish if you take Aaron's comments to heart. He's obviously just trying to provoke for the fun of it.
As for the post... whatever... teach your kids what's right and they'll figured it out. I'm a little surprised anyone would take this incident so seriously... she's just a 4 year old kid. Correct her and move on.
I also played with toy guns all the time as a kid and went fishing all the time and watched a TON of probably really really sexist cartoons, etc... and I also grew up a pacifist and a nature lover and an ardent believer in universal acceptance and equality.
