Top 10 Reasons Why Gov. Mark Sanford Went Missing
| Wed Jun. 24, 2009 6:37 AM PDT
Unless you've been living under a rock, you've already heard that Mark Sanford, the stimulus-money-refusing Republican governor of South Carolina, was missing for the past five days. Even his wife didn't know where he was. His office said--or rather, lied--that he was hiking on the Appalachian trail, but when the governor turned up this morning at Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport, he said he'd actually been in Beunos Aires. Here's a list of the top 10 theories on why the 2012 presidential hopeful went MIA:
10. He's "private." He wanted some alone time. (He says he was driving along the Argentinian coast.)
9. He "wanted to do something exotic."
8. He was trying to figure out how to lead the GOP out of the wilderness.
7. Isn't being the subject of over 2,000 articles in such a short time span a good way to increase your name recognition before running for President?
6. He was leaving to "spend some time away from his family."
5. He's "just a weird guy."
4. He wanted to refute Stephen Colbert's assertion that he is "incredibly boring... a manila envelope just glued to a beige wall... walking, talking Ambien."
3. He was worried that Sen. John Ensign (R-Nev.), another potential 2012 contender, was getting too much attention.
2. He really was hiking in the woods...because it was Naked Hiking Day.
1. He's running for president...of Argentina.
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Comments
Whada'ya wanna bet . . .
Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Wed Jun. 24, 2009 11:59 AM PDT.
I predict that we're likely to find out soon that he was off frolicking with another woman--Father's Day and all--while his wife and four 'family values' children celebrated his day on their own.
I predict...
Submitted by Oops! (not verified) on Wed Jun. 24, 2009 12:10 PM PDT.
...that the news had already hit before you "predicted" it, Mr. Anonymous.
0 for 10
Submitted by Cambot (not verified) on Wed Jun. 24, 2009 12:08 PM PDT.
MoJo bats 0 for 10.
He was having an affair with a woman conveniently located in Argentina.
Easy to slip away unnoticed for a few hours to consort with his extra-marital companion? Apparently not.
Well, Cambot....
Submitted by William W. Wexler on Wed Jun. 24, 2009 12:14 PM PDT.
... you are correct that MoJo batted 0 for 10 on this one, but even a finely designed event randomizer couldn't have come up with the truth on this one in a million tries.
I think it's safe to say that another righteous member of the theocratic party has bitten the dust in terms of 2012.
So who is left? Pawlenty? I hope so... I used to play in a band with his cousin. He's got a few frozen skeletons in his closet. Ventura would have had a better chance at beating Obama.
-Wexler
______________________________________________________________
If I would have known I was going to live this long, I would have taken better care of myself.
~~~ George Burns
Yep.
Submitted by Cambot (not verified) on Wed Jun. 24, 2009 12:30 PM PDT.
- even a finely designed event randomizer couldn't have come up with the truth on this one in a million tries.
Agreed.
- Ventura would have had a better chance at beating Obama.
Ventura would be a fool to run for President. He'd be a laughing stock. Just like he was a laughing stock when he ran for mayor of Brooklyn Park, and Minnesota Governor.
Only, the people doing the most laughing were the people he beat. They were ultimately forced to put a sock in it, that sock probably having the taste and aroma of one Jesse wore for three or four straight nights of 'rasslin', without a wash between.
'I predict' corrected by 'OOPs' :-)
Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Wed Jun. 24, 2009 1:14 PM PDT.
Oh darn--but I hadn't gotten that news alert yet when I wrote that. Therefore, my 'sooth-saying' was pure instinct, and right on target--though not a difficult call to make. Why else would an up-tight, righteous Gov go AWOL? I love it when these right-wing moral authorities self-destruct.
But I have now read the NYTimes, and now I predict that his affair has been on-going for eight years, and not one!
Just wondering...
Submitted by OOPS (not verified) on Wed Jun. 24, 2009 1:56 PM PDT.
Do you have access to statements from this guy, indicating that he falls into a "right-wing moral authorities" category, or is an "an up-tight, righteous Gov", or is that profiling, based on his party affiliation?
I know, it's fun to "profile" politicians based on party affiliation, but it's no more or less accurate than profiling based on race. Besides, both the big parties like to play the "moral high-ground" card when they think the public will buy it. Infidelity disclosed to the public hurt Gary Hart just as much as it's hurt any Republican. He was quite well situated to become president, if you're old enough to remember that campaign, and Jack Kennedy's pecadillos are quite well documented.
Personally, I think we'd be much better served by a media that followed the rule that it wasn't public business where a politician was playing "hide the weenie", and with whom, as they did in FDR & JFK's day. Unfortunately for America, today's Free Press has taken the front page from the tabloid scandal-sheet, and made it their own.
OOPS oopsed
Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Thu Jun. 25, 2009 1:46 AM PDT.
It's public business when politicians pretend to be Values Politicians *snicker* and run off to Argentina. How come you Republicans want it to be private business when a Republican man is caught out, but want to make it a media circus when a Democratic man is caught out? Face it. Men regardless of political affiliation just can't keep their zippers closed. I refuse to put up with any more of this hypocritical cant from the right.
Anonymous Assumes Much...
Submitted by Oops! (not verified) on Thu Jun. 25, 2009 9:05 AM PDT.
Republican?
Wrong!
Did you even read my comments?
It doesn't seem so.
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