Courses at Glenn Beck’s New U.

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Have you heard the exciting news? Apparently appalled at the paucity of solid learnin’ in America (excepting, of course, Texas), media maestro and renowned art historian Glenn Beck has announced the opening of his own great patriotic hall of academe. The forthcoming institution o’learnin’, appropriately titled Beck University, will “explore the concepts of Faith, Hope and Charity and show you how they influence America’s past, her present and most importantly her future.” Its faculty features such luminaries as a free-market economist whose degree is in psychology and a Texas Republican Party bigwig who hates, hates, HATES church-state separation. It even has an Ivy-style crestfeaturing a feather, a buffalo, and the disembodied head of George Washingtonand a Latin motto, “Tyrannis Seditio, Obsequium Deo” (roughly translated: “Revolution against tyrants, submission to God”).

No word yet on whether RNC Chairman Michael Steele, apparently in need of some good historical and civics education of late, has enrolled. But just in time for the Independence Day weekend, the MoJo staff has produced a list of course offerings we hope to see at Beck U. next fall. If you have suggestions, too, post ’em to the comments or post them to Twitter with the hashtag #BeckUCourses! Let’s do some educatin’! Yee haw!

  • Theories of Self and Other in the Autobiography of Ronald Reagan
  • Semiotics of Tricornered Hats
  • Mythology 101: Fossils
  • Presidential History From Harding to Coolidge
  • Oath Keeping
  • Semester Abroad in Kenya with Visiting Professor Dr. Jerome Corsi
  • Physics of AM Radio Waves
  • Fundamentals of Spelling and Grammar CANCELED
  • Great Military Heroes: John Wayne
  • Intro to Theology: Ayn Rand
  • Advanced Marketing Seminar: Rare Gold Coins
  • Drama 101: Intro to Alternative Lifestyles
  • Psych 301: Paranoia as Therapeutic Alternative
  • Wilde, Proust, and Other Homosexual Europeans
  • Middle Eastern and Arab Cultures: What’s Up With That?
  • Literary Masters Colloquium: Cleon Skousen
  • Motherhood, Hockey, Hunting: Cultural Convergences
  • Studies in Moral Courage: Joe McCarthy
  • Counterinsurgency Techniques in Morning Radio
  • Phenomenological Epistemology and the Speeches of Barry Goldwater
  • Hermeneutics and Homosociality in The Overton Window
  • Political Science 300: Reverse Racism and the Modern Presidency
  • Colloquium on Great Filmmakers: Mel Gibson
  • Gym Crow
  • Underwater Conspiracy Weaving

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OUR DEADLINE MATH PROBLEM

It’s risky, but also unavoidable: A full one-third of the dollars that we need to pay for the journalism you rely on has to get raised in December. A good December means our newsroom is fully staffed, well-resourced, and on the beat. A bad one portends budget trouble and hard choices.

The December 31 deadline is drawing nearer, and if we’re going to have any chance of making our goal, we need those of you who’ve never pitched in before to join the ranks of MoJo donors.

We simply can’t afford to come up short. There is no cushion in our razor-thin budget—no backup, no alternative sources of revenue to balance our books. Corporations and powerful people with deep pockets will never sustain the fierce journalism we do. That’s why we need you to show up for us right now.

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