Zell Miller

honoring our rubber-stamp congress, whose members have found plenty of time to do squat

—By Jack Hitt

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From The Source:
Zell Miller Sings "The Talking Pickup Truck Blues"
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The second verse goes: "Sure, an SUV is classy travel, / But it ain't much good for haulin' gravel, / Or hay or seed or bovine feces. / So please, don't make my pickup truck an endangered species."


The Talk Dirty to Me Award

Rep. Barbara Cubin (R-Wyo.) was talking policy with some donors when, in stunning non sequitur fashion, she announced, "I know what Victoria's Secret is. She's a slut."

John Breaux, having been named an honorary "coxswain" of the U.S. Coast Guard, was traveling with a New Republic reporter and couldn't stop entertaining himself. "Hey! Look at this -- I'm a cocks'n!" Breaux said. "Does my wife know?" Passing a Hooters restaurant, he said, "Hey! Maybe I should get a job there, since I'm a cocks'n!"

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Rep. Ileana Ros-Lehtinen (R-Fla.) announced, after being told that time was short during a hearing with Secretary of State Colin Powell, "My press release will read, 'Ros-Lehtinen does quickie with Secretary Powell...' I'm ready!"

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