From Donald Trump, explaining why he never served in Vietnam:
My number was so incredible, and it was a very high draft number. Anyway, so I never had to do that, but I felt that I was in the military in the true sense because I dealt with those people.
The part of this that we’re all supposed to be amused/outraged/stupefied by is the second sentence. I don’t think anyone who’s actually served in the military—especially in a warzone—would think much of Trump’s assertion that he served “in the true sense” because he attended a tony military prep school as a teenager.
But it’s the first sentence that tickles me. Trump’s draft lottery number was completely random. And yet it’s not just high, it’s “incredible.” Because, by God, if it’s Donald Trump’s lottery number, then it’s just got to be the very best. Low draft numbers are for losers.