The 5 Biggest Bros and 5 Biggest Hipsters in Congress

Paul Ryan vs. Rosa Delauro. Kegs vs. kombucha. Bowhunting vs. bow ties. Meet the Hill’s frattiest and funkiest members.

THE BRO CAUCUS

 

Rep. Paul Ryan (R-Wis.): The former high school prom king, Delta Tau Delta frat boy, Randian, bowhunter, and catfish noodler has led P90X workouts in Congress and sponsored (unsuccessful) tax breaks for brewers, distillers, and boozers.

 

Sen. Marco Rubio (R-Fla.): While going stag at a South Beach foam party, Rubio realized his wife-to-be, an ex-Miami Dolphins cheerleader, was his soul mate. During a vodka shot competition on a 1996 Bob Dole campaign flight, he booted in front of future colleague Rep. Ileana Ros-Lehtinen (R-Fla.).

 

Rep. Sean Duffy (R-Wis.): During his 1997 stint on MTV’s Real World, the future tea partier napped while attending a speech by President Bill Clinton and also danced and drank beer atop a pool table in his underwear.

Sean Duffy

 

Rep. Aaron Schock (R-Ill.): The first member of Congress to ever bare his rock-hard six-pack on the cover of Men’s Health, Schock once complimented first lady Michelle Obama for her “buff” guns.

Aaron Schock Men's Health cover

 

Rep. Dana Rohrabacher (R-Calif.): He’s buds with Van Halen lead singer Sammy Hagar, and his office is lined with surfboards, booze posters, and a bust of John Wayne, who Rohrabacher says taught him how to drink tequila (small glass, ice cube, lime squeeze). He dismissed American interrogators’ use of panties to pressure terrorism suspects as “hazing pranks.”

 

THE HIPSTER CAUCUS

 

Rep. Rosa DeLauro (D-Conn.): Her signature look, which has included a Spock ‘do with red streaks, horn-rimmed glasses, and combat boots, inspired the Rosa DeLauro Is a Fucking Hipster Tumblr. Asked about it, the gentlewoman from Connecticut cheerfully replied, “People can call me whatever they want to call me.”

 

Rep. Earl Blumenauer (D-Ore.): Pro-bike before it was cool, the rep from Portlandia founded the Congressional Bike Caucus in 1996. Trademark look: bow ties and bicycle-shaped, neon-hued lapel pins.

 

Rep. Jared Polis (D-Colo.): When Cyndi Lauper stopped by Polis’ office last spring, he served her some of the Colorado-crafted High Country Kombucha his office orders by the case. His 2009 staff retreat included yoga, a scavenger hunt, and a vegan dinner at his home (he and his partner make their own nut cheese).

Jared Polis, Cindi Lauper and Polis' staff
 

Rep. Kyrsten Sinema (D-Ariz.): A bisexual nontheist who doesn’t own a TV and used to work out of coffee shops before getting elected, Sinema oversold her hipster cred when she dissed stay-at-home moms for “leeching off their husbands…That’s bullshit.”

Kyrsten Sinema

 

Sen. Al Franken (D-Minn.): Then: ironic comedian who mocked earnestness (e.g., Stuart Smalley). Now: earnest wonk who hosts a mildly ironic annual Minnesota hot dish cook-off.

DONALD TRUMP & DEMOCRACY

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DONALD TRUMP & DEMOCRACY

Mother Jones was founded to do journalism differently. We stand for justice and democracy. We reject false equivalence. We go after stories others don’t. We’re a nonprofit newsroom, because the kind of truth-telling investigations we do doesn’t happen under corporate ownership.

And we need your support like never before, to fight back against the existential threats American democracy faces. Fundraising for nonprofit media is always a challenge, and we need all hands on deck right now. We have no cushion; we leave it all on the field.

It’s reader support that enables Mother Jones to report the facts that are too difficult, expensive, or inconvenient for other news outlets to uncover. Please help with a donation today if you can—even a few bucks will make a real difference. A monthly gift would be incredible.

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