The Diddly Awards

The Cruel Summer Award for relaxing with a vengeance

Illustration: Peter Hoey

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Rep. John Sweeney (R-N.Y.) crashed an Alpha Delta Phi frat bash at Union College in his district and let the students take videos and pictures of him in full party mode. A Sweeney staffer defended his decision: “As a committed representative of the people throughout the area where he lives and works, he enjoyed the discussion he shared with the students,” she wrote, adding that Sweeney “was impressed with the energy and enthusiasm the students displayed—particularly on a Friday evening.”

Rep. Dana Rohrabacher (R-Calif.) replied to critics who argued that immigrants performed a great deal of America’s farm labor: “I say let the prisoners pick the fruits.”

Rep. Jo Ann Emerson (R-Mo.) justified a trip to Santa Barbara paid for by the Fetzer Institute to “foster awareness of the power of love and forgiveness” on the grounds that such “spiritual self-reflection” was part of her “official duties.”

Senator John Kerry (D-Mass.) proposed bill S.B. 2577, making it easier for a home-state company to import “certain golf club driver heads with plasma welded face plate.” Kerry offered a number of other obscure protectionist bills, including S.B. 2578, which would protect “certain golf club driver heads with rhombus shaped center face”—a club that cries out to be named “The Kerry.”

Senator George Allen (R-Va.) told U.S. News & World Report: “I cut my own grass,” and then, deciding to pump up the Bushian machismo, added that he uses a John Deere 155 lawn tractor while listening to NASCAR with headphones.

Winner! Jo Ann Emerson, who replied to a constituent’s letter about excess oil company profits by concluding: “Please feel free to contact me with other matters that are of importance to you. I am honored to serve as your Representative in the U.S. Congress. I think you’re an asshole.”

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DONALD TRUMP & DEMOCRACY

Mother Jones was founded to do journalism differently. We stand for justice and democracy. We reject false equivalence. We go after stories others don’t. We’re a nonprofit newsroom, because the kind of truth-telling investigations we do doesn’t happen under corporate ownership.

And we need your support like never before, to fight back against the existential threats American democracy faces. Fundraising for nonprofit media is always a challenge, and we need all hands on deck right now. We have no cushion; we leave it all on the field.

It’s reader support that enables Mother Jones to report the facts that are too difficult, expensive, or inconvenient for other news outlets to uncover. Please help with a donation today if you can—even a few bucks will make a real difference. A monthly gift would be incredible.

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