Knock Knock. “Who’s There?” “Donald Trump.”

<a href="https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/507158574670573568">@realDonaldTrump</a>/Twitter

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(Knock knock)

“Who’s there?”

“Donald.”

“Donald who?”

“Donald Trump.”

(Deadbolts door)

“Honey! Quick, hide the kids! An anti-vaccine lunatic is here!”

“Oh Jesus!”

“Hurry! Take them into the basement.”

“Aren’t you coming?”

“I have to make sure you’re safe.”

“No, please! Come with us!”

“Mommy!”

“This is my responsibility. I am your wife. I am their mother…Please, I love you. What type of mother would I be if I let some anti-vax nut near our kids?”

“I love you so much.”

“I love you so much. Go, please.”

(Husband and kids begin down stairs to basement, wife prepares to close basement door, husband looks up at her one last time)

“I’ll pray for you.”

“Pray for all of us.”

(Wife closes door, returns to entry hall, Donald is still knocking)

“Hello? You there? This is no way to treat Donald Trump! This is a lot like the time Dennis Rodman was on my hit show. He came into the boardroom and I said—.”

“Please, just go away.”

(Beat)

“I have no where else to go.”

(Beat)

(Wife opens door)

“Come in. We’ll watch one episode. Just until the doctors arrive to take you back to the hospital.”

“Want to see pictures of my resorts?”

“Sure, grandpa. Sure.”

The end.

DONALD TRUMP & DEMOCRACY

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DONALD TRUMP & DEMOCRACY

Mother Jones was founded to do journalism differently. We stand for justice and democracy. We reject false equivalence. We go after stories others don’t. We’re a nonprofit newsroom, because the kind of truth-telling investigations we do doesn’t happen under corporate ownership.

And we need your support like never before, to fight back against the existential threats American democracy faces. Fundraising for nonprofit media is always a challenge, and we need all hands on deck right now. We have no cushion; we leave it all on the field.

It’s reader support that enables Mother Jones to report the facts that are too difficult, expensive, or inconvenient for other news outlets to uncover. Please help with a donation today if you can—even a few bucks will make a real difference. A monthly gift would be incredible.

payment methods

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